Okay, I’ll be the first to admit it. Now, I know it’s the holiday season. We should all be filled with love, hope and joy.

Yep, the key words in that last sentence are “should be.” Looks like a few folks didn’t get the love and joy memo. If you ask me, there’s no hope for them, either.

So what’s got my long johns in a bunch now, you might ask? I can easily be grumpy — if only I were allowed. The Wife has been saying all week I can’t. The reason why is at the end of this story. Here’s the beginning. Read More»

That’s exactly what happened. In the middle of the living room, I thought I was dying.

There was no help from my brothers or sister as I coughed, gasped for breath, and ran around the room. There was only laughter; lots and lots of laughter.

At 8 years old, it surely was nice to know I could depend on them when my life was quickly fading away.

Dad really didn’t try to poison me. At least that’s what he said for years after the event. To him it was one harmless little sip of his special hot cocoa a few weeks before Christmas. Read More»

Not going to school and playing all day due to the holiday sure can suck all the energy out of a kid. Luckily, on Thanksgiving morning, the surprisingly wonderful smell of freshly baked apple pie drifted into our bedroom and pulled me out of my sleep-coma. If it hadn’t, I might have missed the holiday dinner altogether.

You see, living at 110 Flamingo Street, enjoyable smells were not a common occurrence in our bedroom or any room shared with Twin Brother Mark. There was only one logical thing to do to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming. I picked up my pillow and started to pummel Mark. Read More»

They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well, I don’t really know who “they” are, but over the years kids have grown up and invented some time-saving tools, and it was all because of their dads. Confused? Just keep reading. It’ll all make sense by the end.

The park encircled twin lakes just a mile outside our sleepy little downtown. Last weekend, The Wife and I slowly followed a pathway that wound its way around the still waters. We were in no hurry, truly a rare time in our busy lives. Read More»

With the election finally behind us, you’d think all the tension in our household would finally have subsided. No more arguments about who’s right and who’s wrong.
Unfortunately all is not peaceful in our normally peaceful corner of the world. Now there’s a far bigger battle on the horizon. And ground zero? It’s the middle of our living room. And in any battle there’s a winner and a loser. Guess which one I am. Read More»

Sir Isaac Newton once said, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Well, for a really smart guy, and the inventor of the tastiest cookie ever, Sir Newton sure didn’t know what he was talking about when it came to my dad.

For every action I took doing something I thought was a good idea, it created a much bigger reaction from my dad when he finally found out — especially if he and Mom were gone and left us kids alone for the day with nothing to do. Read More»

For all the parents out there who think teenagers don’t listen to a word you say, you’re right – they don’t. For all the teenagers out there who think parents don’t understand anything you say, you’re right also. So if parents and teenagers don’t listen to each other, who should they listen to? Why, the old guy who writes the newspaper column, of course.

Last Friday, The wife and I ventured out to a local restaurant for a rare date night. This was fortunate for me for two reasons: time with The Wife is always enjoyable and I didn’t have a topic for this week’s column. Now I do. Read More»

Years ago, I asked The English Teacher who edits my column just how long should a story be. Her answer came back in teacher-speak, “Each one should have a beginning, middle, and an end, and be long enough to tell the story. Not a word longer or shorter.”

Well, this story does have a beginning, middle, but — as of yet — no end. For you see, dear reader, the end will be written by you. Read More»

Make no mistake about it; The Wife and I saw all the warning signs. We just chose to ignore them. No one wants to believe one of their beloved family members would intentionally put them through such a trying time.

Still, over the weekend, our wayward child went missing. Late Friday night, he got out of bed, got into trouble, and ended up in the custody of the local authorities. Read More»

The days are getting shorter. There’s a cool crispness in the air. Trees around here will soon be splashed with colors marking the change of the seasons. Fall is upon us once again.

October brings with it big orange pumpkins, which The Wife simply loves. Thanksgiving and Christmas have their own family traditions, and fond memories of simpler times.

Yes, this is my favorite time of the year, but not for the reasons you may expect. Fall makes me think of sandwiches. A little odd, I’ll admit. Then again, so am I. Read More»